The family, religion and education are the three primary social institutions in democratic societies. The
family is the most basic of all three because its function is to bring new people into the world. Education
and religion assist the family in socializing children, teaching the new citizens to live according to the
cultural expectations of society. For a half a century, I have worked in all three areas, as an educator, a
social psychologist and a minister. This newsletter focuses on human relations. It is intended to assist
families in all three areas of development. You are invited to react to the content of this letter. In fact, your
input will assure its relevance. Topics on all three areas will be discussed according to needs expressed.
The section Ask the Teacher will be led by Elsida E. Cordova, Pd.D., a retired educator from the
American school system. E-mail her at asktheteacher@religiousreview.com
For a FREE subscription to this newsletter, e-mail me at Newsletter@religiousreview.com
family is the most basic of all three because its function is to bring new people into the world. Education
and religion assist the family in socializing children, teaching the new citizens to live according to the
cultural expectations of society. For a half a century, I have worked in all three areas, as an educator, a
social psychologist and a minister. This newsletter focuses on human relations. It is intended to assist
families in all three areas of development. You are invited to react to the content of this letter. In fact, your
input will assure its relevance. Topics on all three areas will be discussed according to needs expressed.
The section Ask the Teacher will be led by Elsida E. Cordova, Pd.D., a retired educator from the
American school system. E-mail her at asktheteacher@religiousreview.com
For a FREE subscription to this newsletter, e-mail me at Newsletter@religiousreview.com
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Volume 1, Number 8 Focusing on Relations April 15, 2007
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Volume 1, Number 8 Focusing on Relations April 15, 2007
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ASK THE TEACHER
By E.E.Cordova, Pd.D
By E.E.Cordova, Pd.D
**************************************
Words of Wisdom
High. We are in a process of becoming. It is
unknown what we shall be.
Apostle St. Paul
Words of Wisdom
High. We are in a process of becoming. It is
unknown what we shall be.
Apostle St. Paul
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Question: The school year is coming to an end,
and my 5th-grader is losing interest in his work.
How can I motivate him to finish up strong?
Answer: Every day of the school year is important
in the education of your child. Here are some
things you can do to help him the rest of the
school year:
and my 5th-grader is losing interest in his work.
How can I motivate him to finish up strong?
Answer: Every day of the school year is important
in the education of your child. Here are some
things you can do to help him the rest of the
school year:
- Continue to check and supervise his
homework as you have done so far. - Ask your child's teacher for a conference
with you to discuss what you can do to help
him work hard until the last day of class. - After the conference, talk with the child
about expectations. - Continue to watch for a sound balance
between his entertainment time after school
and his homework. - Encourage reading. Take the child to the
public library, and with his help select books
of interest to him. - Emphasize his need to finish up well, giving
him a head-start for next year.
CHALLENGES AND OPPORTUNITIES
By J.C.Cordova, D.Min., LCSW
"Challenge" is a word often used in reference to
confrontation. It is also used on calls for
identification and validity like when an officer
stops drivers on traffic violations and asks for
drivers' licenses. It is used by potential
employers to demand proof of qualifications
from potential employees, and so on. In other
words, a challenge is a demand for a favorable
response to a question.
"Opportunity," on the other hand, refers to
having numerous opened possibilities ahead to
decide and act upon in the pursuit of ones
happiness and the contentment of others. The
word "opportunity" comes to us from the same
family of words of "opposite." In this manner,
happiness is the reverse of challenge. Whereas
challenge is a negative work, opportunity is a
positive one.
Marriage is a sequence of challenges and
opportunities. Successful marriages see
challenges as opportunities for growth as
couples. The reverse is true for unsuccessful
ones, who see challenges as unsurmountable
barriers impossible to scale. In these marriages,
the solution to their challenges in the parting
company
The initial challenge in marriage is the mutual
commitment two strangers make to each other
before the officer performing the wedding
ceremony and the witnesses attesting to the
marriage contract to face the unknown together
with limited resources.
Most people take seriously the vows made to
one other. The first few days, during the honey
noon, when the honey is sweet and the moon is
bright, the union is perfect, made in heaven.
But soon, new and different challenges emerge
upon returning home. Boy and girl are now
thrust back into the old routine of their daily
living, but now with a twist, a big twist. For both
life has taken a different turn. Now, new
important obligations have been added to the
routine. How will each respond to the challenges
ahead?
No question about it, most couples work hard to
resolve these challenges in spirit of love rather
than contention. Each new challenge met in a
loving fashion strengthens the union.
Speaking about marriage, the famous Viennese
Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, inventor of
Logotherapy, the counseling modality
advocating for meaning in human life said this
about love in relations: "The only way to touch a
person in the inner being is through love."
So, here are two principles coming out of
marriage vows worth considering when
challenges develop in the marital relations:
1. Marriages are born in love to be developed in
loyalty. Long, long ago, marriages were
arranged by parents, usually with the
intervention of matchmakers. Much of this
custom is still present in the Orient and Middle
East. Today, in the democratic societies of the
West, however, people are free to choose who
they will marry, and love is the tie that bonds as
long as loyalty to each other is strong. And
devotion to one another is the one
indispensable support to maintain such bonds.
2. Marriage is rooted in responsible freedom.
Responsible freedom in marriage is the ability to
act unrestrained yet without harming self or the
other spouse. This is the greatest challenge in
marriage. Without losing their identity and
independence, the couple has come to live
together in a new and permanent status.
Challenges must be resolved in the presence of
empathy and respect for each other, practicing
forgiveness, love being the great corollary.
Best wishes.
By J.C.Cordova, D.Min., LCSW
"Challenge" is a word often used in reference to
confrontation. It is also used on calls for
identification and validity like when an officer
stops drivers on traffic violations and asks for
drivers' licenses. It is used by potential
employers to demand proof of qualifications
from potential employees, and so on. In other
words, a challenge is a demand for a favorable
response to a question.
"Opportunity," on the other hand, refers to
having numerous opened possibilities ahead to
decide and act upon in the pursuit of ones
happiness and the contentment of others. The
word "opportunity" comes to us from the same
family of words of "opposite." In this manner,
happiness is the reverse of challenge. Whereas
challenge is a negative work, opportunity is a
positive one.
Marriage is a sequence of challenges and
opportunities. Successful marriages see
challenges as opportunities for growth as
couples. The reverse is true for unsuccessful
ones, who see challenges as unsurmountable
barriers impossible to scale. In these marriages,
the solution to their challenges in the parting
company
The initial challenge in marriage is the mutual
commitment two strangers make to each other
before the officer performing the wedding
ceremony and the witnesses attesting to the
marriage contract to face the unknown together
with limited resources.
Most people take seriously the vows made to
one other. The first few days, during the honey
noon, when the honey is sweet and the moon is
bright, the union is perfect, made in heaven.
But soon, new and different challenges emerge
upon returning home. Boy and girl are now
thrust back into the old routine of their daily
living, but now with a twist, a big twist. For both
life has taken a different turn. Now, new
important obligations have been added to the
routine. How will each respond to the challenges
ahead?
No question about it, most couples work hard to
resolve these challenges in spirit of love rather
than contention. Each new challenge met in a
loving fashion strengthens the union.
Speaking about marriage, the famous Viennese
Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, inventor of
Logotherapy, the counseling modality
advocating for meaning in human life said this
about love in relations: "The only way to touch a
person in the inner being is through love."
So, here are two principles coming out of
marriage vows worth considering when
challenges develop in the marital relations:
1. Marriages are born in love to be developed in
loyalty. Long, long ago, marriages were
arranged by parents, usually with the
intervention of matchmakers. Much of this
custom is still present in the Orient and Middle
East. Today, in the democratic societies of the
West, however, people are free to choose who
they will marry, and love is the tie that bonds as
long as loyalty to each other is strong. And
devotion to one another is the one
indispensable support to maintain such bonds.
2. Marriage is rooted in responsible freedom.
Responsible freedom in marriage is the ability to
act unrestrained yet without harming self or the
other spouse. This is the greatest challenge in
marriage. Without losing their identity and
independence, the couple has come to live
together in a new and permanent status.
Challenges must be resolved in the presence of
empathy and respect for each other, practicing
forgiveness, love being the great corollary.
Best wishes.