The family, religion and education are the three primary social institutions in democratic societies. The
family is the most basic of all three because its function is to bring new people into the world. Education
and religion assist the family in socializing children, teaching the new citizens to live according to the
cultural expectations of society. For a half a century, I have worked in all three areas, as an educator, a
social psychologist and a minister. This newsletter focuses on human relations. It is intended to assist
families in all three areas of development. You are invited to react to the content of this letter. In fact, your
input will assure its relevance. Topics on all three areas will be discussed according to needs expressed.
The section Ask the Teacher will be led by Elsida E. Cordova, Pd.D., a retired educator from the
American school system. E-mail her at asktheteacher@religiousreview.com
For a FREE subscription to this newsletter, e-mail me at Newsletter@religiousreview.com
family is the most basic of all three because its function is to bring new people into the world. Education
and religion assist the family in socializing children, teaching the new citizens to live according to the
cultural expectations of society. For a half a century, I have worked in all three areas, as an educator, a
social psychologist and a minister. This newsletter focuses on human relations. It is intended to assist
families in all three areas of development. You are invited to react to the content of this letter. In fact, your
input will assure its relevance. Topics on all three areas will be discussed according to needs expressed.
The section Ask the Teacher will be led by Elsida E. Cordova, Pd.D., a retired educator from the
American school system. E-mail her at asktheteacher@religiousreview.com
For a FREE subscription to this newsletter, e-mail me at Newsletter@religiousreview.com
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Volume 1, Number 4 Focusing on Relations February 15, 2007
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Volume 1, Number 4 Focusing on Relations February 15, 2007
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ASK THE TEACHER
By E.E.Cordova, Pd.D
By E.E.Cordova, Pd.D
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Words of Wisdom
create the future
--Victor Hugo
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Words of Wisdom
create the future
--Victor Hugo
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| How to Develop an Effective Prayer Life is my latest book. It deals with becoming intimate with God through prayer. Order your copy from your favorite bookstore or click the book icon. |
Question: Lately, my 9-year old son comes home
from school on a down mood, complaining that the
other boys in his class pick on him during
recreation. Should I consider it a passing thing
boys do to each other and ignore him?
Answer: Most children relate to each other in a
playful manner, including calling each other
names and talking about perceived odd behavior
of each other. Unless this condition includes
bulling, this is done for fun, not meaning to hurt
anyone.
Here are some things you can do in the order
suggested toward correcting the situation:
1. Sit down with your child in a relaxed manner
and find out exactly what is said and done to him
by whom. Ask him how he feels about himself. If
he does not feel good about himself, ask him why.
Based on his answer, begin to correct what he
perceives is wrong at home.
2. Ask for a conference with the teacher to
determine how your son relates to the rest of the
class. Is he timid, a whiner, etc? Include the school
counselor to get her input, especially if your boy
has been sent to her. In the conference, inform
teacher and counselor of your findings. Involve
the principal if the problem is not resolved,
especially if the boy has been sent to his office.
Do not take sides.
3. In a bullying situation, the parents of the bully
most be involved. Bulling is a condition arising
from poor self-esteem expressed through feelings
of superiority and abusing behavior towards
others. It also may be symptomatic of a more
severe personality disorder.
from school on a down mood, complaining that the
other boys in his class pick on him during
recreation. Should I consider it a passing thing
boys do to each other and ignore him?
Answer: Most children relate to each other in a
playful manner, including calling each other
names and talking about perceived odd behavior
of each other. Unless this condition includes
bulling, this is done for fun, not meaning to hurt
anyone.
Here are some things you can do in the order
suggested toward correcting the situation:
1. Sit down with your child in a relaxed manner
and find out exactly what is said and done to him
by whom. Ask him how he feels about himself. If
he does not feel good about himself, ask him why.
Based on his answer, begin to correct what he
perceives is wrong at home.
2. Ask for a conference with the teacher to
determine how your son relates to the rest of the
class. Is he timid, a whiner, etc? Include the school
counselor to get her input, especially if your boy
has been sent to her. In the conference, inform
teacher and counselor of your findings. Involve
the principal if the problem is not resolved,
especially if the boy has been sent to his office.
Do not take sides.
3. In a bullying situation, the parents of the bully
most be involved. Bulling is a condition arising
from poor self-esteem expressed through feelings
of superiority and abusing behavior towards
others. It also may be symptomatic of a more
severe personality disorder.
- PEOPLE MEETING PEOPLE
By J. C.Cordova, D.Min., LCSW
Our previous discussions were intended to
review how people develop in the people
environment. Today we tackle the fascinating
theme of human relations.
Humans are social beings. They are born, live
and die in the human group. The group shapes
the individual members to the extent that all
learning takes place under the stimulation of
others, and no learning takes place apart from
others.
From the above discussion, it is easy to see that
the human group is an exclusive unit having a
life of its own. It has its own normative system
and lifestyle. In general, the human group is a
very cohesive and organized unit. By and large,
the behavior of each member in the human
group is similar and contributes to shape the
group, as the group shapes each individual
member. In fact, the group exerts a lot of
pressure on its members to maintain its way of
life. And it makes distinction from other groups,
protecting itself from those groups.
Yet, each group member is affected by two
factors that have been popularized by the labels
nature and nurture. This means that humans
are partly determined and partly free. People do
not choose their sex, race, physical
characteristics, place of birth, etc. That is
determined by the Creator. On the other hand,
people are free to chart the course of their lives.
How they live, learn, work, play, etc., is
determined by both hereditary and
environmental factors.
By far, individual behavior outside the group of
origin reflects that group way of life. Whenever
people meet people, it is actually the meeting of
two microcosms that takes place. Let’s take for
instance the dynamics going on when two young
people of opposite sex meet. Boy meets girl at a
party. At the initial exchange, he praises girl in
recognition of her beauty and demeanor. She
acquiesces. He attempts to find topics of mutual
interest to talk. The second time they meet the
conversation begins with the mutuality
established during the previous encounter. Now
they build on. Further meetings continue to build
the relationship.
The degree of maturity of boy and girl are
important in the relationship. For younger
persons, these encounters are mostly passing
social interactions. Older boys and girls, on the
other hand, seek lasting relations, which might
turn into serious and permanent relations of
husbands and wives. For the affection of boy
and girl to develop into lasting love relations,
compatibility is most important. But what
happens when incompatibilities are exposed? It
all depends on the extent of the incompatibilities.
Often, minor hurdles are surmounted while
major one are no.
Where does conflict originate? Boy and girl are
compatible or incompatible depending on
cultural differences. For example, the level of
education, the personal demeanor, the outlook
on life, the goals of the person, and the general
attitude and behavioral conduct of the person
are indicators that should be seriously
considered by boy and girl as they search for a
marital partner.
In the next edition, we will further develop our
present discussion. Until then, happy
relationships!