The family, religion and education are the three primary social institutions in democratic societies. The family is the
most basic of all three because its function is to bring new people into the world. Education and religion assist the
family in socializing children, teaching the new citizens to live according to the cultural expectations of society. For a
half a century, I have worked in all three areas, as an educator, a social psychologist and a minister. This newsletter
focuses on human relations. It is intended to assist families in all three areas of development. You are invited to react
to the content of this letter. In fact, your input will assure its relevance. Topics on all three areas will be discussed
according to needs expressed.
The section Ask the Teacher will be led by Elsida E. Cordova, Pd.D., a retired educator from the American school
system. E-mail her at asktheteacher@religiousreview.com
For a FREE subscription to this newsletter, e-mail me at Newsletter@religiousreview.com
most basic of all three because its function is to bring new people into the world. Education and religion assist the
family in socializing children, teaching the new citizens to live according to the cultural expectations of society. For a
half a century, I have worked in all three areas, as an educator, a social psychologist and a minister. This newsletter
focuses on human relations. It is intended to assist families in all three areas of development. You are invited to react
to the content of this letter. In fact, your input will assure its relevance. Topics on all three areas will be discussed
according to needs expressed.
The section Ask the Teacher will be led by Elsida E. Cordova, Pd.D., a retired educator from the American school
system. E-mail her at asktheteacher@religiousreview.com
For a FREE subscription to this newsletter, e-mail me at Newsletter@religiousreview.com
==============================================================================
Volume 1, Number 2 Focusing on Relations January 15 2007
==============================================================================
Volume 1, Number 2 Focusing on Relations January 15 2007
==============================================================================
ASK THE TEACHER
****************************************
Words of Wisdom
are ten strong things:
****************************************
Words of Wisdom
are ten strong things:
- iron is strong, but fire its stronger
- Fire is strong but water quenches it
- Water is strong, but the clouds evaporate it
- Clouds are strong, but the wind drives
them away - Wind is strong, but man uses it to breathe
- Man is strong but fear cast him down
- Fear is strong, but wine dispels it
- Wine is strong, but sleep overcomes it
- Sleep is strong, but death is stronger
- Loving kindness is stronger than death
because it always outlive it
****************************************
| How to Develop an Effective Prayer Life is my latest book. It deals with becoming intimate with God through prayer. Order your copy from your favorite bookstore or click the book icon. |
Question: My 5-year old, kindergarten
daughter comes from school asking me
embarrassing questions. Should I ignore her
or answer the questions?
Answer: If you ignore your daughter's
questions, she may go to others for answers
and may receive inappropriate and
confusing replies.
However, answering your child's questions
will afford her the opportunity to develop
confidence and trust in you. Next time she
have questions, your daughter will
confidently come to you for answers.
It is important for your answers to be honest
and according to her level of understanding.
And do not give her more information than
she asks.
daughter comes from school asking me
embarrassing questions. Should I ignore her
or answer the questions?
Answer: If you ignore your daughter's
questions, she may go to others for answers
and may receive inappropriate and
confusing replies.
However, answering your child's questions
will afford her the opportunity to develop
confidence and trust in you. Next time she
have questions, your daughter will
confidently come to you for answers.
It is important for your answers to be honest
and according to her level of understanding.
And do not give her more information than
she asks.
THE FRAME OF REFERENCE
By J. C. Cordova, D.Min.,LCSW
In the first article, we began to explore in general the
formation of personality beginning at birth. We will use
now a classical example advanced by pioneer student
of personality, world renown psychoanalyst Sigmund
Freud.
Although the Greek philosophers of old began the
conceptualization of how memory develops and some
early European thinkers also contributed to the study, it
was not until Freud made his monumental contribution
that a clear picture emerged.
Freud conceived the brain as having two major
functional areas: the conscious and the unconscious
and a buffer zone bridging both, which he called the
pre-conscious.
Freud illustrated his conception with visitors coming to a
house, where casual guests are received in the living
room (the conscious mind). In this room, guests pay
their visits. When the visits are over, guests leave the
room, never having advanced to any other room.
On the other hand, guests coming to visit for longer
periods of time are assigned living quarters (the
unconscious mind). Some may stay permanently, like
an elderly parent, for instance. The guests staying go
to their assigned rooms through a door (the
pre-conscious mind).
According to Freud, the brain functions in a similar
manner. All input comes into the brain from outside of
itself. All perception and observation of reality and
information from others come into the individual brain
via the conscious mind (the here and now) and go to
the unconscious mind (the data bank) through the
preconscious mind (the traffic officer regulating the
flow).
The amount of data accumulated in the unconscious
mind of the individual is immeasurable. This data makes
what the person is at any given time. Must information is
buried and forgotten. Yet, the data bank is present and
ready for use by the conscious mind at will to form
attitude and behavior patterns. So, when called upon,
specific memories come forth to the particular moment
to guide the person's thinking and acting.
Think, for instance, of when you were a child. As you
do, you will recall many good and bad experiences of
that early period of life, even completely forgotten
incidents. You will become elated or sad depending
upon your recollection. Some folks have mostly good
experiences, while others had mostly bad ones. When I
ask my clients to tell me about their lives growing up,
many begin by saying: "I had a terrible childhood."
Then, they proceed to describe pathetic personal
experiences of abuse and neglect.
It is important to know that most people who had
horrendous childhood experiences and received all
kinds of bad information about how to behave, modify
their knowledge when exposed to good models. They
adjust well to life and comply with cultural expectations.
However, it is crucial not to depend on children's
self-correction and provide proper patterns of
socialization. Most serious students of personality
development advocate for good parenting during the
formative years of the child. Working from the emotional
point of view, Freud gave extreme weight to the first five
years of the human life. And Eric Erickson even
mapped out the entire life cycle of the person to show
the effect the process of socialization has upon human
life.
So, definitely, it is crucial for the emerging person to
have desirable experiences and receive correct
information in the frame of reference to develop a
healthy self and display the right conduct in daily living.
To better understand how human interaction works, in
our next article, we will turn to a brief discussion of
attitude and behavior formation.
By J. C. Cordova, D.Min.,LCSW
In the first article, we began to explore in general the
formation of personality beginning at birth. We will use
now a classical example advanced by pioneer student
of personality, world renown psychoanalyst Sigmund
Freud.
Although the Greek philosophers of old began the
conceptualization of how memory develops and some
early European thinkers also contributed to the study, it
was not until Freud made his monumental contribution
that a clear picture emerged.
Freud conceived the brain as having two major
functional areas: the conscious and the unconscious
and a buffer zone bridging both, which he called the
pre-conscious.
Freud illustrated his conception with visitors coming to a
house, where casual guests are received in the living
room (the conscious mind). In this room, guests pay
their visits. When the visits are over, guests leave the
room, never having advanced to any other room.
On the other hand, guests coming to visit for longer
periods of time are assigned living quarters (the
unconscious mind). Some may stay permanently, like
an elderly parent, for instance. The guests staying go
to their assigned rooms through a door (the
pre-conscious mind).
According to Freud, the brain functions in a similar
manner. All input comes into the brain from outside of
itself. All perception and observation of reality and
information from others come into the individual brain
via the conscious mind (the here and now) and go to
the unconscious mind (the data bank) through the
preconscious mind (the traffic officer regulating the
flow).
The amount of data accumulated in the unconscious
mind of the individual is immeasurable. This data makes
what the person is at any given time. Must information is
buried and forgotten. Yet, the data bank is present and
ready for use by the conscious mind at will to form
attitude and behavior patterns. So, when called upon,
specific memories come forth to the particular moment
to guide the person's thinking and acting.
Think, for instance, of when you were a child. As you
do, you will recall many good and bad experiences of
that early period of life, even completely forgotten
incidents. You will become elated or sad depending
upon your recollection. Some folks have mostly good
experiences, while others had mostly bad ones. When I
ask my clients to tell me about their lives growing up,
many begin by saying: "I had a terrible childhood."
Then, they proceed to describe pathetic personal
experiences of abuse and neglect.
It is important to know that most people who had
horrendous childhood experiences and received all
kinds of bad information about how to behave, modify
their knowledge when exposed to good models. They
adjust well to life and comply with cultural expectations.
However, it is crucial not to depend on children's
self-correction and provide proper patterns of
socialization. Most serious students of personality
development advocate for good parenting during the
formative years of the child. Working from the emotional
point of view, Freud gave extreme weight to the first five
years of the human life. And Eric Erickson even
mapped out the entire life cycle of the person to show
the effect the process of socialization has upon human
life.
So, definitely, it is crucial for the emerging person to
have desirable experiences and receive correct
information in the frame of reference to develop a
healthy self and display the right conduct in daily living.
To better understand how human interaction works, in
our next article, we will turn to a brief discussion of
attitude and behavior formation.