PEOPLE MEETING PEOPLE

Our previous discussions were intended to review how people develop in the people environment. Today we tackle the fascinating theme of human relations. Humans are social beings. They are born, live and die in the human group. The group shapes the individual members to the extent that all learning takes place under the stimulation of others, and no learning takes place apart from others.

From the above discussion, it is easy to see that the human group is an exclusive unit having a life of its own. It has its own normative system and lifestyle. In general, the human group is a very cohesive and organized unit. By and large, the behavior of the each member in the human group is similar and contributes to shape the group, as the group shapes each individual member. In fact, the group exerts a lot of pressure on its members to maintain its way of life. And it makes distinction from other groups, protecting itself from those groups.

Yet, each group member is affected by two factors that have been popularized by the labels nature and nurture. This means that humans are partly determined and partly free. People do not choose their sex, race, physical characteristics, place of birth, etc. That is determined by the Creator. On the other hand, people are free to chart the course of their lives. How they live, learn, work, play, etc., is determined by both hereditary and environmental factors.

By far, individual behavior outside the group of origin reflects that group way of life. Whenever people meet people, it is actually the meeting of two microcosms that takes place. Let’s take for instance the dynamics going on when two young people of opposite sex meet. Boy meets girl at party. At the initial exchange, he praises girl in recognition of her beauty and demeanor. She acquiesces. He attempts to find topics of mutual interest to talk. The second time they meet the conversation begins with the mutuality revealed during the previous encounter. He tries to build on the mutual grounds already established. Further meetings are crucial to the development.

The degree of maturity of boy and girl are important in the relationship. For younger persons, these encounters are mostly passing social interactions. Older boys and girl, on the other hand, seek lasting relations, which might turn into serious and permanent relations of husbands and wives. For the affection of boy and girl to develop into lasting love relations, compatibility is most important. But what happens when incompatibilities are exposed? It all depends on the extent of the incompatibilities. Often, minor hurdles are surmounted while major one are no.

Where does conflict originate? Boy and girl are compatible or incompatible depending on cultural differences. For example, the level of education, the personal demeanor, the outlook on life, the goals of the person, and the general attitude and behavioral conduct of the person are indicators that should be seriously considered by boy and girl as they search for a marital partner.